[M]ost Calvinists, many ex-Calvinists (myself included) and almost every single Calvinist Baptist that I’ve known, struggle with one issue: The need to rationalise, to understand, to comprehend everything God has said, implied or done. We want to “think God’s thoughts”. And when we can’t, we view it as a failure.
I know these Calvinists are out there, because I've encountered them (mostly) in the blogosphere. I will admit the Calvinists' reputations for being jerks is largely deserved.
I'm sure there are some people who think I'm a jerk (in fact, I can think of one or two of you right now who think so), but when I read things like that above it always runs counter to my personal experience since I began affirming the five points of Calvinism.
Since becoming a Calvinist I find myself:
a) saying and thinking "I don't know" a lot more than I did before and actually being more comfortable with mystery than I was before. My insatiable adolescent theological exploration -- wanting to "figure things out" -- might have led to my embracing Calvinism, but my embracing Calvinism cured my need to "figure things out." At least, I believe it did.
b) thinking much more of God and much less of myself. When I say I think much less of myself, I don't mean that I am less self-centered or less prideful (for that would mean I stopped being a sinner); I just mean that intellectually, theologically, and even devotionally, I am fine acknowledging that I'm an utter nincompoop.
And it seems odd to me, given the tenets of Calvinism, that more Calvinists aren't more forthright with their own nincompoopery, as well.
(Cross-posted at The Thinklings)