“It is better to be silent and be real, than to talk and not be real.”
-- Ignatius, Letter to the Ephesians 15.1
The trouble is, I think, that too often our unnecessary verbosity and our untamed tongue really is us being "real." I think Ignatius is talking about boastful facades or lies or "talking ourselves up." But if what we say and how we say it are reflections of who we are, the unreigned speech, even if false in content, can still be us "being real."
How many times have you come across someone excusing their own insensitivity or insulting manner by claiming they are just "telling it like it is." They're just being "real" or "honest."
They're right -- they are telling you what they're like, what their real self is, the "honest" condition of their heart.
Most times, someone's unhinged tirade (or even passive-aggressive criticism) of you actually says more about them than it does you.
Sometimes you are (by which I mean "I am") in the place of the critical someone.
Sometimes it's just best to be silent. When we actively choose silence over unnecessary or unnecessarily critical speech, we reflect a real self that is actually worth boasting about.