Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Tuesday is for the Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

Used to do this on Thinklings and Mysterium Tremendum a lot, but I haven't done it in a long time.
Fun With Referral Stats!

This is the part of the show where I comment on what sort of internet search phrases lead people to Gospel-Driven Church.

1. Yahoo! Hong Kong search for "Jesus the living gospel international church (purpose driven church)"
I'm the number one entry for this search phrase. So there you go. Big in Hong Kong.

2. free leading the congregation in church tips
If they're leading you for free, do you have to tip them? One for the ages.

3. Mars Hill Seattle singles
Hmmm. If one of Driscoll's entrepreneurial elders could put together a Mars Hill match.com-type site, the revenue could fund their bazillionth satellite campus.

4. Every several days, someone reaches my blog by searching for Joel Osteen scandal.
I'm not sure why this is such a popular search phrase (wishful thinking?), but since so many come here looking for dirt on the man, I will offer this public service:
As far as I know, Joel Osteen has never been involved in a scandal of any kind.
Heck, you can't even connect him to the scandal of the cross. The man's squeaky clean.

And because those weren't quite as funny as I hoped, here's a few from Thinklings, which really attracts the weirdos.

5. politically correct term for Indian giving
Um . . .

6. Mike Ayers follower
Mike Ayers was my pastor in Houston and is the guy I consider my mentor. He's an honorary Thinkling, as well. I had no idea he had followers, but sign me up.

7. anecdote of the retarded boy singing Jesus Loves Me
This guy and the politically incorrect Indian giver dude need to get together.

8. dark letter-letter from Satan
Friend, turn off the Ozzy, raise the blinds, take a deep breath.

9. terrible tummy ache
But not so terrible that a search result that clearly could not help wasn't worth checking out.

10. unspotted bride
If the bride has not been spotted, it's time to start handing wedding gifts back.

11. my urine is a lime colour
That's what happens when you surf blogs instead of seeking treatment for your terrible tummy ache.

12. clear Rowling is a Calvinist who believes in predestination
Are you kidding?! A Calvinist who also believes in predestination? If she weighs the same as a duck, buuuurn her!

13. doctrine of wifely submission rejected by Baptists
This search came from the Bizarro World's Google.

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